


Colors of Loss and Love

by ScribblesInTheMargins



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: 18OI AU Week 2019: Day 5, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, Day 5: Soulmates, M/M, Soulmate-Identifying Marks, Soulmates, set 4 years after season 1
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-07
Updated: 2019-06-07
Packaged: 2020-03-26 11:05:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,381
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19004485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ScribblesInTheMargins/pseuds/ScribblesInTheMargins
Summary: In a world where most people never find their soulmate, or even if they have one, a friendship can mean so much more than a mark. That is until JJ and Otabek find out Yuri's painful secret.





	Colors of Loss and Love

**Author's Note:**

  * For [NoireRigel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoireRigel/gifts).



Yuri sighed as he jumped down from the center podium, landing perfectly on the red carpet in front of the raised steps,  JJ's jump down was easier, barely a step. Otabek's jump down was just a little rougher than JJ's. Worlds. It wasn't the Olympics, but what was after a thrill that high?

 

"Princess!  Come on. Beks and I were going out to drink and you're old enough here."

 

"Fuck you, Jerk Jackass Leroy."  There was no venom to it. Instead, he sighed as he waved to the cameras as they skated off the ice.  Tomorrow was the exhibition, for tonight, they just had a press conference.

 

"Ladies first."

 

"Oh Fu--"

 

"JJ."  Pure amusement colored Otabek's voice as he shook his head at his longtime friend.  "Every time, ladies first, and then he says if you really believed that, you'd have gotten the gold."  He laughed as he walked through the gate that JJ was holding.

 

"Hurry up, you idiots.  It's time for the press conference and you know our coaches will be upset if we're too late."  Yuri walked past them both, his skate guards thudding against the mats as he moved to the dressing rooms.  All their coaches trailed behind, but now they were all old enough that they let them be a little more independent.  Even Yuri was over eighteen now.

 

By the time JJ and Otabek had entered the dressing room, Yuri had grabbed his bag to move off to one of the private dressing cubbies.  All the locker rooms had them, most people didn't bother -- Yuri always did.

 

It didn't stop JJ from flicking Otabek with a towel or Otabek tossing a sweaty shirt at JJ.  They'd been friends forever, and even Otabek's stoicism had started to fade over the years. Otabek tried to keep his expression blank, but he was almost smiling.  

 

"Oh for fuck's sake.  How are the two of you not dressed yet?  Beka, put that shirt on, JJ, pants, please.  Just -- for fuck's sake put some pants on and stop making eyes at each other."  Yuri paused as both men looked away from each other much too quickly for Yuri to have been wrong.  Shaking his head, Yuri walked over to JJ's bag, tossing his Team Canada track pants to him. He rolled his eyes a little as he looked to Otabek, "At least you can find your own clothes, unlike this one."

 

They were soon herded into the press room.  The questions were always the same. They talked of their programs and they spoke of their training and their plans for next year.  The questions to JJ about his ex-fiance had even ended by this point in the year.

 

Yuri fell silent as the questions moved to Otabek.  He always loved hearing his friend speak about what he did in the off-season.  Yuri never spoke of his off-season. Otabek though was involved in so many things.  He visited hospitals and schools. He was the face of skating in his country, encouraging so many children to strap on skates.  If Yuri was being honest with himself, that was a way that JJ and Otabek were similar to each other. He was the odd one out on that.

 

Finally, the press conference ended and all three skaters were allowed to go back to the hotel -- or elsewhere.  With an agreement to change and meet up at Yuri's room, the three split up once they were all at the hotel. By the time Otabek and JJ were knocking, Yuri had long been dressed.  He walked over to open his door, "Hey -- I was just finishing sending some emails to students, give me a second okay."

 

"You know, you could take a little time to dress up, Kitten."  Without asking, JJ was moving to where Yuri's suitcases were as he looked for clothes.

 

"No.  I'm fine."

 

"Jean, just -- maybe leave him alone on this one."

 

"What?  We're all single and we're going out -- might as well look our best.  Can't wait around your whole life waiting for your soulmate to fall into your lap."

 

With a frown, Otabek shook his head.  "Jean, drop it."

 

"What?  Just because Izzy didn't work out--"

 

"Jackass.  She found her soulmate and dumped you like you were shit."  Yuri's tone had grown cold, his patience gone.

 

JJ stood there, stunned.  It had been years since Yuri had actually seemed that mad at him,  Yes, they teased back and forth, but never like that. "I'm sorry."  Maybe it was a Canadian instinct to apologize, especially when the words had been spoken by Yuri -- JJ was willing to bet they had only been in response to his ribbing.  He wasn't sure why that had been too far, but it clearly had been.

 

"Come on Yura, why don't you throw on a nice shirt, just over the T-shirt you have on.  It'll be fun?"

 

"You're buying me a drink if I do."  

 

"Fine, I'll buy you a drink and JJ will buy you a drink.  How is that?" Otabek very much knew the way to get Yuri to agree to something though.

 

"Yeah -- OK.  Sorry I snapped, JJ."  Yuri dropped his eyes as he walked by the man to get to his suitcase.  The black button up that he wore with his gala suit would be fine to throw on over what he had on.  Maybe that would be enough to make this dressed up … maybe.

 

"It's OK.  I shouldn't have pushed.  I mean … soulmates are just rare."  Shrugging, JJ moved to the door, opening it once Yuri was ready to go.

 

"Yeah, I know.  A person is lucky to find one."  Yuri was still frowning as he said it.  He hated talking about soulmates, he always had.  Maybe it was lucky for him that less than 10% of people in the world actually seemed to have a soul mate.  There were entire websites and agencies dedicated to finding yours. To even know if you had one was hard.

 

Everyone knew the overdone Hollywood scene.  Some man said something to the female lead in the romantic drama, she reached out and smacked him on the cheek only for him to see her cheek light up in color for a brief second.  The colors never lasted long. A broken bone could cause colors to last for an hour. A tattoo could leave the imprint of the design in technicolor on a soulmates flesh for maybe ten minutes.  If it lasted longer, people would just put their contact information on their own skin, but it was never that easy.

 

In a world dedicated to soulmates, they were all without, alone.  90% of people were in the same situation, so maybe it was no surprise that people would give up on the ideal and just find someone they could love.

 

* * *

 

Three hours later and Yuri was trying to remember why he had agreed to this.  He was sitting in a booth at the bar they had ended up at. The club had been … well, even JJ didn't like having people grab him as much as that place had led to.  So now Yuri was sitting in a booth, nursing a beer and watching JJ and Otabek try to be coordinated enough for electronic darts. More than one person had already commented on how good it was that they weren't real darts.  Yuri was too drunk to think of that.

 

A smarter Yuri would have realized how bad it was to drink beer after hard alcohol.  A much smarter Yuri would have known that drinking anything from a bartender that was flirting with you was an even worse idea.  Those thoughts didn't occur to him until JJ had dropped down into the booth next to him and was saying something. It took a few minutes for Yuri to process what though, his eyes trying to focus on the man's lips.  He couldn't make out the words, just trying to comprehend their movement -- he was much too drunk for anything.

 

Yuri was still working on an answer when he felt himself hauled up to be braced by Otabek on one side and JJ on the other.  Evidently, they were going someplace.

 

* * *

 

 

By the time JJ realized that he was too drunk to successfully play darts the night was late.  "Beks, we should head back. Exhibition tomorrow and everything."

 

"Yeah -- they'll kill us if we miss practice."  That still meant they didn't need to be anywhere until noon, and doing a practice run-through of a gala took almost no effort.  "Yura!" The moment Otabek realized that Yuri was just sitting in the booth and staring at his beer as if it were the most amazing thing ever was clear, "Shit.  We need to get him back."

 

JJ walked over, sliding in next to Yuri, "Hey -- you ok?  We need to head back?" As Yuri just stared at him, JJ turned to Otabek, "We're going to need to help him."

 

"Yeah … let's just get him …"  It took a little maneuvering, but Yuri still hadn't cracked fifty-five kilos, so it wasn't as if he was hard for them to prop up between them, even if they were a little wobbly too.

 

They got him out of the bar and into a cab and from there to the hotel.  Grabbing the key from Yuri's pocket, Otabek opened the door to haul the man inside.  "OK -- we can't leave him here." Otabek looked over at JJ.

 

"Yeah -- we should change him?  I'll just send my parents a message that Yuri drank too much and we're babysitting him."  He started to move Yuri towards the bed, when suddenly the blond somehow found the power to move on his own and make a valiant effort to get into the bathroom to throw up -- most of it hitting the tub, but for as much as Yuri talked about the Russian alcohol tolerance, both other skaters were faced with the question of what to do with that mess now.

 

JJ shrugged, throwing the now ruined shirt into the bathtub before moving to pull off Yuri's T-shirt under it.  As the sick soaked fabric was tossed into the bathtub with the rest of the mess, Otabek gasped.

 

Paused, JJ looked down at the now very much unconscious man.  "Fuck…" He reached out, letting his hand run over Yuri's back.  The flesh was covered in a smattering of colors, as if someone had dropped a tray of pastels onto the man's flesh, but they both knew it was not some freak art accident.  A soul mark. JJ fished his phone out of his pocket to snap a picture before it disappeared. They never lasted long. Yuri would want to know when he woke up, then he could start looking for his soulmate -- whoever had been hurt this badly.  

 

"Jean, help me get his pants off, let's see if there is more, fast before it fades."

Even as JJ helped manhandle Yuri out of his pants, he wasn't sure.  "I've never even heard of one that big. It's … it's huge?"

 

"Maybe there was an accident tonight?  I don't … oh god…" Another picture, but Otabek didn't know what to say.  His best friend was covered along his entire left side. The entire leg was covered in the same colors that were flashed over his back and side.  "This isn't good."

 

"It -- let's just get him cleaned up.  We'll figure it out in the morning." Biting his own lip, JJ started the water in the shower, washing the sick down the drain and trying to get the clothes as clean as possible.  Then, once Yuri was stripped the rest of the way, they both somehow managed to wash him off -- even if they both had to strip down to their underwear to do it.

 

Finally, wet clothes hanging in the bathroom, Otabek and JJ got Yuri into one of the beds, lying the man on his stomach with his head to the side -- just in case he was sick again.  Both stood there though, looking down at that color covered body. Both of them knew it, but neither wanted to be the one to say it.

 

Finally, Otabek broke the silence, "The colors aren't fading -- at all."

 

"Do you think -- do you think … I mean, how long can colors last?"  Subconsciously, JJ took a step closer to Otabek. How were they going to tell him this in the morning?  Or worse, how were they going to tell Yuri that they both knew?

 

"I … JJ?  Do you think he knew?"  Otabek leaned down, letting his fingers trail along the edge of the colors.  Half the man's spine was covered in color. "I don't think -- I don't think anyone could survive this.  If it was an injury."

 

"If his soulmate was dead, there wouldn't be any marks.  Even after horrible car crashes, the marks on the surviving mate always fade."  The Canadian's voice sounded hollow as he said it, stunned as he looked at Otabek touching the mark.

 

"Are you sure?  Do they always?"

 

"I -- my grandfather died in a car accident.  My grandmother knew because -- because her entire face lit up in color and then suddenly the color was gone.

 

"So his soulmate is alive, we need to help him find him.  If something terrible happened to his soulmate, Jean, we have to --"

 

"Beks, what if -- what if Yuri already knows."  He'd like to think that Yuri would have told them something like this, but with how long they had known the man before they found out his grandfather was his only family -- it wasn't as if Yuri didn't have a habit of hiding bad news.

 

"You're right."  Otabek reached down, pulling the blanket up to cover Yuri as he made sure the man was comfortable.  "We should get some rest. Whatever happens in the morning is going to be a mess."

 

"Really?  You think Yuri might react poorly?  I mean … what in your ten-year history with him --"

 

"Jean, not tonight.  Just … come on, get in bed."  It was clear Otabek hadn't had even the slightest hint about this prior to tonight.

 

JJ slid into the bed, not saying anything when Otabek moved closer, curling into him.  All JJ did was wrap an arm around the smaller man. They'd been friends since they trained together all those years ago.  Otabek had never been easy to befriend, but JJ was stubborn and never accepted no. The friendship had only grown over the years.  "It'll be OK, Beks. Whatever happens in the morning, he has us."

 

All Otabek could do was nod, his mind racing as he whispered, "He always talked like he'd never even look for a soulmate."

 

"Like he didn't believe someone like him could have one."  JJ finished the thought, they both knew how Yuri was. The boy had never found something he couldn't blame on himself.

 

"Do you think -- that he knew, and something is horribly wrong with his soulmate?"  Otabek only whispered it. It was horrible to think.

 

"I … yeah."  JJ let his arm wrap tighter around Otabek, sighing as he got comfortable.  The morning was going to suck.

 

"Why him?  Why does shit like this have to happen to him, Jean?  I was a fucking idiot, drawn to him because he had the eyes of a soldier.  What was I thinking? He was a ten-year-old child when I saw him. No one that young should have eyes like that.  No one should have gone through that much to look like that."

 

"I know, I know.  He's not alone. We're here with him.  The season is over, if we have to, we can both go back to Saint Petersburg with him, or drag him to Almaty, or hell -- you can both come to my place in Toronto.  We won't let him shut us out. We won't let him pull his normal shit and try to be alone."

 

* * *

 

In the morning, the sun bathed the room in light that was much too bright for anyone there to deal with.  Yuri was slowly waking up, moaning as he sat up. He had no idea where he was, why he was naked, or who was snoring.  He did know that he felt sick. His hands gripped the sheets as he tried to hold on since the room was still spilling. Concentrating on not throwing up soon expanded to looking around.  It was his hotel room -- so that at least explained that. His phone was on the nightstand next to him -- but not plugged in so who knows how much battery was left. The other bed was where the snoring came from, and he very much recognized the two idiots curled up there. Both of them were stripped to their boxers and wrapped up in each other and the blankets. JJ was snoring. Otabek was drooling. Pretty much, that made it semi-normal.

 

He reached down, placing a hand on his naked thigh.  They'd seen. There was no way that they hadn't seen.  There was no hiding anymore. There was no way to lie his way out of this.  He let his fingers trail along his soulmark. JJ and Otabek were mercifully unmarked.  He should have told them earlier. For as much as he sometimes hated it, those two idiots in the other bed were his best friends.  Just, how did someone bring this up? Soulmarks were supposed to be fleeting. There was an excitement to them, but they took as much as they gave.  You needed your soulmark to find your soulmate. To get your soulmark, it meant your soulmate was in pain. There would be questions once they woke up.

 

Yuri sighed, reaching over to grab his phone as the spinning of the world slowed.  A quick check of social media, and at least he didn't see anything out there about their behavior last night.  Whatever they had done, it hadn't made the news. That was at least one good thing from last night.

 

Yuri was still answering texts and drinking a bottle of water when JJ moaned and then tried to get out of the bed - fast.  There was only one reason anyone woke up that fast after being as drunk as they had been, and it meant running to the bathroom to throw up.  Yuri sat there, watching as JJ struggled his way out of the bed, half tripped on the blankets and then smacked his shin right into the edge of the footboard.    As the man yelled, Yuri gasped. "Jean!"

 

"What -- oh fuck…"  JJ fell to his knees, grabbing a trash can as he threw up.  The noise was enough to wake up Otabek.

 

"Beka, your leg."

 

"Wha?"  Otabek tried to sit up, not knowing why Yuri was yelling.  Grabbing his head, Otabek looked around, trying to figure out what was going on … then he saw it, his right shin was covered in color.

 

Suddenly, Otabek was wide awake, focused on his leg as he reached out to touch the flesh.  Even as he let his fingers ran over the color, it disappeared, fading back to his normal flesh.

 

For years, he had thought Yuri was his soulmate.  He'd been so drawn to him when they had both been young.  He realized at some point that wasn't the truth and they had simply become best friends, maybe even closer than family -- or he had thought they were that close until finding out the important things that had been hidden from him.  He had accepted that he didn't have a soul mate. What was the chance of never having seen a mark on his body?

 

"I have a soulmate?"  Otabek's words just a whisper as he looked at the normal skin of his shin now.  "I -- I have a soulmate… I have -- I have to find them?" He looked up, looking over to Yuri.  The man had to understand what it meant to need to discover your soulmate. There was no way that Yuri hadn't looked for his, not with how his skin was marked -- still marked.  Nothing had changed on Yuri's body, the man still covered in color. "Your mark…." The elation of knowing he had a soulmate dampened by the fact that Yuri was still covered in color.  

 

"I know."  He brushed it off, "Don't worry about me.  Worry about yourself." Not bothering with clothes, his secret was out so why bother, Yuri moved to the other bed, placing a hand on Otabek's shoulder and turning the man to face him.  "I'm sorry."

 

"Sorry?"

 

Without any warning, Yuri's hand moved, striking against Otabek's cheek in a fast strike as sharp pain coursed through his face.  Without saying anything, he turned his best friend's head, making him look at where JJ was still holding a trashcan of puke while bracing himself against the hotel dresser.  The other man's face covered in dancing pastels.

 

Speechless, all Otabek could do was raise up his fingers, letting them touch where his skin stung from the slap -- and seeing the exact depiction of that pain on JJ's face.

 

"I'm going to get a shower.  You two idiots need to talk."  Grabbing some training clothes, Yuri walked into the bathroom to start the shower.  They weren't the first people to be sick in a hotel room -- it could have been much worse.  He was giving those two privacy. They needed it. It was… at that moment, it was more than Yuri could take.  He dropped to his knees, crumpled and crying as the hot water beat down on him. It wouldn't wash the colors away.  Nothing would wash those colors away and they had been there for so long. It wasn't fair…

 

* * *

 

"Jean?"  Otabek was slowly getting out of the bed, dropping to the floor to move next to JJ.  His hand reached out to gently run along the man's face where the colors had appeared only moments ago.  His own face still burned from the slap, but that didn't matter -- not when he knew JJ's flesh had carried the colors of that slap.

 

"Beka?"  JJ was so confused, he was on the floor and way more hungover than he thought he would be this morning.

 

"How bad did you hit your leg?"  His hands were moving to where he had had colors on his own, knowing exactly where JJ had hurt himself, the pain had been etched on his own flesh.  

 

"Uhhh, it hurts?"  The answer was still so confusing.

 

Otabek leaned down, gently kissing the other man's shin.  Then his lips moved to JJ's lips, ignoring the bad taste -- he knew his own lips tasted like stale whiskey and morning breath.  

 

"Beks?"

 

"Watch?"  He pulled back, focusing on those blue eyes as he brought up his leg so JJ could look at it, and then he pressed hard on the mark from the bed, hard enough to make his own skin light up in colors.

 

"Owww-ohhhh …. Ohhhh, Beks?  I … we?" Eyes wide, he sat there looking at the other man.  Then, all restraint was gone as JJ pulled him in, "Yes! Beks!  You know what this means! We're soulmates! You and me, the two of us, we -- I'm soulmates with one of my best friends!"  All he could do was cling to the other man, holding him as tight as he could.

 

Holding turned to touching turned to kissing as JJ's lips pressed to Otabek's, holding onto the other man as he pressed him down onto the carpet.  Legs wrapped around his thighs, he couldn't stop kissing the man. Every touch felt as if electricity coursed through his body.

 

Kisses turned to touches turned to frantic rutting against one another, kisses morphing into panting as JJ's hands were everywhere on Otabek's body.  "I love you." The confession as if he were doing nothing more than breathing, it was true. It had been true for so long, but after the pain of Isabella leaving him, he had been too scared to admit it.  He had been too scared that Otabek would find his soulmate, and that it would be Yuri, and that he would be all alone again.

 

As Otabek pulled back, he looked at the man's face, running his hands along JJ's jaw, then leaning in to kiss him again.  Naked and sweaty, holding onto him, he whispered the words back, in his native language though, words he knew JJ couldn't understand, but maybe the emotion behind them would come through.  They'd known each other so long, but this-this was new, better, different. This was a new start, and his heart was racing as he leaned in to kiss the man that had been one of his best friend for so many years.

 

"Should we?"  Otabek whispered, gesturing to the bathroom where Yuri was still shut off behind the door.

 

Dropping his eyes for a second, not wanting to leave his soulmate's arms, JJ nodded.  "I … I used to be so scared, thinking it would be the two of you and I'd be alone. I was positive it was the two of you."

 

A quick shake of his head and Otabek was whispering, "We would have never left you alone.  We -- Jean, and we can't leave _him_ alone.  He needs us."

 

"Whatever is going on, we'll do this together.  The three of us." Softly kissing Otabek's lips again, JJ whispered, "We aren't the type of assholes to leave our best friend."

 

Without another word, they got up, together, holding hand and unwilling to lose the physical contact now that they had it.  Walking towards the bathroom, they opened the door together. Together they'd help their friend. Romance could wait. They had their whole lives together, and right now, their best friend needed them.  They were not going to just abandon Yuri.

 

Instead of going to the mandatory meeting, all three of them missed the practice for the exhibition.  The three of them all needed to talk. The exhibition didn't matter. The story of Yuri's soulmate being unconscious in a horrible accident -- four months, that mattered.  Yuri mattered. What didn't matter was that most soulmates when they found each other secluded themselves. They were not going to exclude Yuri, not right now. No, not ever.  Whatever happened, happened. They would face it together, all three of them. Some friendships ran deeper than a soulmark.

 


End file.
